My NYC Midnight Short Story Review

I finally got the review of my short story ‘Choices’ back! Overall I’m quite happy with it. I don’t know the writer they are talking about (my daughter does), but the comments are agreeable. No mentioning of the carpenter though, which surprised me.

Dear Jacky Dahlhaus,

The feedback from the judges on your Short Story Challenge 2016 submission from 1st Round is below.  We hope you find the feedback helpful and you enjoyed the competition!

 ”Choices” by Jacky Dahlhaus – WHAT THE JUDGE(S) LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY –

…………Odd little story — I like that it’s told from such a strange POV. Very hard to pull off, but you do this well. Consistency throughout, and real tension/ drama. …………………………A compelling and unique way to incorporate all three contest elements.  Nice dramatic tension……………………………….…………………………The story commits fully to the wolf perspective, with clear evidence of an attempt to get into a very different, even alien, point of view…….……………………………………………………………  WHAT THE JUDGE(S) FEEL NEEDS WORK – …………I think you handle this well from start to finish. There are places where the transitions to back-story need a little work — not always convincing, and sometimes a little predictable. Even so, this is a fun idea. I wonder if you know Michelle Paver’s Wolf Brother series? …………………………I felt able to predict the ending well before it occurred.  I wonder about rejigging it a bit, to catch the reader by surprise.  The final line, also, felt overly sentimental……………………………….…………………………While the language being simpler than a human’s makes sense, it feels child-like and innocent in a way that doesn’t fit the wild, rough life of the wolves. …………………………………………………………………

 

 

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