I’m not an addict…

There are several things that I enjoy more than other things in life, the best ones are food, sleeping and writing. Okay, sex too, I’m only human. I get tremendous enjoyment from eating dark chocolate, crisps, and medium-rare steaks. I love eating in restaurants, where they not only serve delicious food, but also display it in an appetising manner. Since I was so unfortunate to get a severe case of glandular fever when I was nineteen years old, sleeping has been one of my most time-consuming past-times. It has become less since I passed the forty-five year mark, but I still enjoy a nice nap during daytime now and again. When I wrote my first book I got my first real high. I liken it to snorting cocaine (although I have never done this, so my comparison is purely based on hear-say). My life was great, I felt great and, as this goes hand in hand, sex was great! I got down when I started editing, but got high again when I wrote my second book. I haven’t been high since I finished that one.

I want to get high again. And I do a little bit, every time I eat a dark magic chocolate, every time I have one of those magical naps, and I am looking forward to reaching one of those magical highs again when writing. Does this mean I am an addict?

Since last year I have been trying to lose weight. I have been going to a gym (but gave up on that since the new year) and have been on the Cambridge diet for three months. All in all I have lost four kg. Nothing to rave about, but it is progress (still seven to go). What I didn’t expect was that every day I was on that diet I craved food. When I was writing I was okay, I didn’t need to snack. However, as soon as my children came home from school I changed into this other person. I would sneak in snacks, tell myself excuses to eat more, even eat behind my kids back. I think that qualifies as an addiction.

The strange thing is that I don’t mind not-eating when it isn’t there. I occupy myself with things that need doing (or not) and don’t eat at all. I can easily skip breakfast and have lunch at 2pm. No problemo. This week I have forgotten to organise grocery shopping. I was just too busy. We still had a lot in the cupboard and freezer to get by (although we went out for dinner yesterday :)) and hence didn’t have any cookies or crisps available (they never last long). And I didn’t miss them! When my kids told me they were peckish I told them to make a sandwich. They did. So, I didn’t go out to get crisps or cookies, I didn’t bake any, I didn’t steal lollies that my kids were hording in their room. Likewise with the sleeping. I have been too busy to sleep. Likewise with the sex. My DH and I have been sleeping on the landing since we started renovating our bedroom a few months ago. Having sex next to your children’s bedroom doors is as frequent as a visit to the moon. When we went to London for a day and stayed in a hotel for a night we caught up though :).

And then it finally hit me. I’m not an addict…

I am a sucker for temptation!

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